black flowers bloom
you called me as i opened the box- my things, your things and us. what was i thinking then? you were across my house with the wax heart at my old place. i sat there poring thru the pages of heartfelt effort and tears, the box of heartbreak at my feet.
would you have known as i watched you disappear out of sight, fled to the safety of my darkened house, i stood behind the closed door and cried. cried for all the memories, cried for all the "what-ifs" the regrets, cried for how hard you were trying for an insignificant me, cried for inflicitng stonehearted cruelty, cried in perplexity of being a fool, to let go of someone who loved me so unyeildingly. yet cried for being unyielding myself.
i wouldnt have known either.
i rummaged the box looking at pieces of you and me, i was quiet holding in that fucking sore feeling at the back of my throat.
you ask me why i dont look at you. i cant bear to. i cant help it. but you dont deserve this
are you the now or never kind
In a day and a day love
I'm gonna be gone for good again
Are you willing to be had
are you cool with just tonight
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
Put your name on the line
along with place and time
Wanna stay not to go
I wanna ditch the logical
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
All my time is froze in motion
Can't I stay an hour or two or more
Don't let me let you go
Here's a toast to all those who hear me all too well
Here's to the nights we felt alive
Here's to the tears you knew you'd cry
Here's to goodbye
Tomorrow's gonna come too soon
-Eve 6, Here's to the night
i guess time changed us
theres so much i cant explain. even more i want to tell you but i cant, or dont. i dunno
i want to be there with you but differently
its such a contradiction. we're contradiction
to my special someone. you'll always be special to me-
i'm sorry
anyway guess what. next sem i have a lovely 5 day school week. hell. all bcos i wanted to take my forensic science. haha why is it everytime i say that people gimme a look. so what. i'm a nerdyyy nerd and proud of it *pushes up glasses. grin. haha i wish la huh... my grades were bleh. big time. well it sucked but i tell you i expected something much worse so when i saw it i actually was relieved la. this is how dire the situation is haha. anyway so much for collecting the post... i'm not getting a warning letter yipeee!! i wasnt gonna tell my mum my grades cos she doesnt really know much about the uni system (muaha) but guess what. the other day she suddenly asked me "have you gotten your grades?". omg i almost had a heart attack. luckily that day i must've had alot of sleep the night before or what, but i managed a relatively believable "uh, soon". mustve been one of her kaypo friends who went to blab and ruin my plans la. grrr.
anyhow next sem i'm really gonna have to pull up my crappy CAP so no more ponning lects and not doing tutorials. even friday lects. the bloody lects for forensic are on friday. night. see the amount of passion i have devoted in my quest for forensics. those bugger teachers better notice it. girls, no excuses we are going ok. i also have to get past the barrier and open my big fat golden mouth in class with those strange unfamiliar eyes boring into me. sigh.
anyway on NYE our lil sorority finally met up to eat at.... hooters! haha yes. what an odd place for 5girls+ a lil bung haha+1 guy (- the bange in jb). i tell you i have this damn bad tendency not to keep in touch with old friends and i know why. its SOO hard to get a large grp tog cos of all the complicated schedules and well a lil laziness. haha i promise to plan one of the outings soon :) its my turn like since dunno when right heehee. anyway for all those cheekopeks, the girls at hooters dont have big boobs lor. in fact there was this matronly looking lady in jeans and a polo tee taking orders and i was wondering if that was the supposedly scandalous outfits, when i realised she mustve been a manager or mamasan of some sort. haha. so i wanted them to order from a hooter or whatever they're called so i could seee what the big hooha was about. nothing really. but not to dash anyones hopes and fantasies they wear these short orange fbt-looking shorts (seems kinda ugly to me actually). oh well who understands guys haha.
i realised i missed the whole bunch lots! i mean i've met steph and rach sporadically, but we hardly can meet as the whole clique. catching up and talking about our mad antics in jc falling asleep, kelly and her markers- laughed till i cried la. the nicest feeling*
guys miss you lots! outing soon again. if Next Week ever happens haha.
and. to ma pangsai Happyy bdayyy!! isnt it funny you're turning 19 and next month i'm 20. heehee i bet you sooo wanna slap me. i miss our retarded moments in class love!! uni's boring without you and your nonsense . meet for lunch soon yupp!
countdown this year was also... different. for one thing this year i spent it without jeremy from since the last 2 years. but not that it wasnt fun loves! tho i thought the funnest part was sitting behind cine and at the bus stop just talking*
it was just different.
anyway after an impromptu flash of genius while we were bumming around boat quay we decided to go to shopping in jb the next day! haha amazingly this is my first time going to jb by bus. so super swaku right. in fact its actually been almost i think about 7 years since i've driven to msia. i think. the last time i remember going was at some unearthly hour, falling asleep in the car, whining and fussing as a kid. so anyway cos i was Lisa the unpriviledged and sheltered kid, all the surrogate mummies had to take care of me. haha i mean simple things like zipping up my handbag and all the stuff we take for granted in singapore became the so much more impt. like not counting money in public, taking off my accessories and looking as chachat as possible, talking chinese to seem like locals, keeping my things almost unnaturally within sight, and of cos not saying "barbie" (haha kidding la). no offense to any of the msians yvonne and chard really.
shopping aside it was quite an experience la. there was this incident at the customs omg. this indian lady with her gangstaaa looking bf in front of us. i think she has some sorta anger management prob or something. maybe cos it was extra crowded (we forgot tues was hari raya man) and everyone was getting irritable and hot. but she suddenly screamed at this old man next to us "you move your leg any closer and i'll scream at you i tell you". ironic thing was she just did. which actually made it more interesting cos was the old man trying to molest her or something? he did look kinda shifty and hum sup.
anyway the gangstaaa bf glared at him for really long but nothing happened after that, and it got boring so i lost interest. just when i thought i was about to die of boredom again suddenly she screeched "will you just shut the FUCK up!? we're in this together so stop complaining about it!" to the man behind her. apparently she was arguing cos he accused our queue of cutting their line (there is absolutely NO form of order i tell you. its chaotic. they should like draw lines on the floor). omg i just stared. blatantly. so did everyone else and the buzz of complaining suddenly ebbed. anyway the rest told me it wasnt unusual...everytime something like that would happen. in fact jan's mum actually quarrelled with someone before. well obviously the swaku didnt know, so for me it was terribly exciting haha.
anyway shopping wasnt mindblowing cheap la like in bangkok. but it was good enough for me. haha so terrible la- it was like jon one poor guy following us 3 crazed shopping lunatics. but at least everyone got some stuff. haha i bought a top lotsa bottoms new mascara and nail polish. satisfactionnnn. haha close to $200 i think. cant rmb waht we calculated but it was worth it!
oh and the traffic there is killer. luckily we didnt get caught in the customs jam on the way back or the 3 of you would be stuck in a cab with one very cranky grouch throwing bitchy temper tantrums haha. jans almost got knocked down by some mad swerving motorcycle la thats how crazy it was. haha and my cpc (best surrogate mummy of the trip!) even held on to the swaku's hand as we crossed this path where the motorcycles kept zooming into. she's so cute la. haha like my grandma- no matter how old i am when we cross the road she always grips on to my hand (DAMN tight) which i think is damn sweet! haha ok its obviosuly late and i'm going off tangent as usual huh
anyway when we got back to spore was so late and so tired. but in a happy way. i think i'll convince them to make it a monthly thing. if not for shopping, well for food. the food was mother hell cheap too la.
lots i wanna say but i'm sleepy. summary: BIG FAT CHEAP. haha shoppp till you drop and eat till you pop. yay! cant wait to go agian