black flowers bloom
i'm glad he knows that.whatever it means. i'll assume it means traumatic.
if anyone knows the meaning of that i want to meet you. heck if anyone knows whats going on i want you. and your lovely answers. haha.
blardy econs lah
i'm back reflecting-why do i always love to procrastinate so much?? the thing is, i know i am procrastinating but ..well i dunno. choose to be in denial? argh. put it this way, i had to stay up so frickin late bcos i procrastinated something else which made me procrastinate econs too. ok this definitely does not put me in a great light. haha... but base line-i really really have to stoppit. i have a lovely one week break and i planned a whole lovely schedule. i'm gonna remain optimistic but i can so see it becoming one big procrastination party. whee.
so today after a kinda grumpy start to the morning, it did turn out better. surprisingly despite doing it in a half conscious state the night before, most of my answers were right! eh but credit due, i did refer to the notes diligently *smug smirk. but i was kinda surprised i was on the right track. so maybe i like it a little teeny weeny tiny bit more. actually no i think i still hate it. haha. anyway after an agonising 5 hours debating on the questions, we didn't complete it. sigh. at least theres only 2 more agonising questions.
after that rushed off to another project meeting-mno. see what i mean by the nus system being sadistic. this one was comparably much better cos its so much less dry than econs. we were deciding on the scenes for our video and now i'm a sugar mummy of some sort... this other guy is the gigolo toy boy thing. haha not gonna divulge too much for now to protect our legitimate interests. haha oh god i'm really reading too much bsp1004.. project on wed. sigh again.
it was kinda surprising i managed to get thru both meetings without collapsing. but the minute i got home, after telling myself i was gonna watch the spore idol reults show, i dropped off and slept until 12 plus haha
anyway so in the wee hours of yday morning in between doing my econs, msning, complaining to baby on the phone, i realised- i miss the my little sorority of The Happy Animals Club lots. i miss our laid back ways, how we were not overly kiasu and relaxed (maybe sometimes a little too) but hell, we still got things done right babes. damn right we did! without bursting a blood vessel too. haha. anyway i did meet the 5 +1(the chua haha) for dinner that day and it was damn fun! catching up.. seeing changes (like someone's ahem body art ;P), listening to someone else's drunk horror tales of running loose (haha).. seeing them after so long, it reminded me of what i took for granted in cjc.
missing our nonsense at school, orchard, zouk, wherever, guys: stephy wef, lange, ps face, kellykins and mash (cindy too).
since we're onto the topic of friends. i think one of the most important things about friendship is being there for a person when she needs you the most, when she is feeling the lowest, when she is feeling stressed beyond breaking point and frankly is taking it out on everyone including you, when she is feeling insecure, when she is feeling discouraged, when she just needs someone to talk nonsense with to to keep her from losing her sanity. friendship can come unexpectedly, from those you usually fool around and kid with. friendship doesn't have to be doing alot or buying expensive stuff.. its the simplest things that make you treasure the person the most. this is going out to my shijue: if ya read this post, i think you would've realised that yes, i did bluff you after all.. but i did it for your own good!! i love you for being there for me each time even if only to have retarded debates about vampy werewolves , or just to support my bitching(which has become kinda often, esp yday), or checking up on me on msn even when i'm on 'busy'. you understand, i had to bluff you cos i love you too much ;). don't ever change *hug.
AND. i love my baby even with his BLOODY self righteous attitude. haha you know i don't mean it laarr. heres to you too, for seeing me at my scowliest and of course bearing the brunt of my stress and hate for econs. for giving me practical insights and encouraging msges thru the horrible night and lowest point. its not easy for both of us at this point, but we'll come out stronger-character building, character building. love *muack
i think the stress is really getting to me. the other day i had an extra exuberant round of laughing fits that even i don't think was that funny anyway. haha it was funny at that time!!luckily i had company or i would've looked even madder. haha.
but honestly, aside from the econs and programming stuff i'm behind, i must concede life has been pretty alrite so far. i'm still loving the rest. haha... but i'm telling you stress from those two is more than enough thank you. oh well i gotta use this break to catch upp on those then. which obviously i won't. sigh.
haha anyhow i don't plan to waste the whole break studying... its the last time to have fun before the shit hits the fan. haha!! olivia mentioned it the other day and i nearly died from cramps laughing la. apparently its a very common imagery. can you imagine!? haha. why don't i ever come across books with that. i was saying thank god we never had such a phrase for oral exam or i tell you i would've failed the whole thing getting laughing fits looking at the paper.
anyway digressing. before our lovely shit splattered world comes into reality we have one last opportunity to go mad. so starting tonight lets all enjoy our last dance! hahaaaa
actually its kinda strange how we always say that but so far our last time has never come into effect huh haha
honestly yday was my first presentation and i totally crashed and burned. what a great start. warning for steph and like minded economics soci ppl...you can skip till the last para. haha. I HATE ECONS NOW AND FOREVER WILL BE!!!
but to be fair to it my qtn was kinda abstract and everyone in the group was not sure how to settle on the answer. to make a long story short, apparently there were calculations but everyone decided it was not logical to calculate it. instead we described how to calculate it which sounded just about wrong even to me, but what to do, it was theoretical. or so we thought. just waiiit.
when it was my turn to present i really really screwed it up. i mean like its one thing to do a presentation in front of a class of friends like in cj or mg. its more of like a very large chatting session or close to that. this was a group full of strangers staring at you with unfriendly and unfamiliar faces. oh and bored. bored faces definitely. and to make matters worse i'm super lousy at econs and don't i know it. i rambled and fumbled and mixed up elastic and inelastic. the thing was i knew the facts for the part but i was all NERVYY and retarded about it!! anyway i dunno what the hell i was thinking (prob jolynn's comment warning me not to get laughing fits) but i thought it was kinda funny so after correcting myself i went all smiley. until i saw the teacher's face. when i saw her i knew she was gonna massacre me. so she swooped in for the kill and asked me about the calculations which i knew a grand total of zero about. so i told her the answer we all agreed on- that it was not able to calculate cos blah blah... thats when shy rjc boy opened his golden mouth and saved me. i didn't know whether to kill him cos he didn't dare to say it earlier at group meeting, or hug him for saving my ass. but it was BAD cos he answered the question. so at the end i meekly promised to get the calculations out. which i didn't.big fat bah stupid econs.
but you really have to marvel at these jc students.. i think they're like the thru-train ppl or something. anyway they're like really...gifted. no prizes for guessing which jc the bulk of them come from. my loyalty to my mgs prevents me from saying the enemy name. haha no offense anyway.
i dunno how else to say it. put it this way,for my group and the group which presented the week before, the ones who did the best presenting who answered all the open questions were the jc students. in class, the ones who actively participate and ask questions are the jc students... the uni students don't even come close- most of us are sitting mute. marvelling i guess. or hating maybe.
aside from econs the others are alrite. i love mno its damn interesting... recommended for anyone who needs a breadth! genes and soci is pretty much a level work so basically its a chat session for me and cherie bout red shoes and bitch fest about many many ppl hehe. hi cherie! =).... legal env for business is surprisingly ok for a name like that... its damn challenging but not horrible challenging (see managerial econs. YUK!) and the lectuer is kinda funny too. programming is another horror, but its sorta neutralised by the teacher cos he's like damn nice and funny also. and its at least help-able by anyone who knows some stuff about excel and macros (i hope) haha.
ok whatever excuses it is, bottom line, me and econs=hate-hate relationship.
so far hostel life has been damn great! haha i guess i don't really feel homesick cos i go home every weekend. but the freedom of staying out and going back any time, having ppl sleepover, not doing my dirty laundry (i know its gross), not clearing my plates, leaving the lights and computer on when i fall asleep, chucking my things wherever i want- i love it! haha. of course the only prob is the lack of sleeping space which means we have to squeeze. olivia pushed me off the bed that time la!! haha although she so denies it =P
but actually i haven't run amok as much as i would've expected staying out and all. i mean like i actually still go for most tutorials and lectures. and i really listen. must be reverse psychology or something. i mean like with no teachers making a huge fuss about you handing in hw and going for class and all, the silence is unnerving. now i guess we're considered adults the teachers really tida apa-you come or don't come is your own business. so you start to genuinely care that you may have actually missed the important words of wisdom being imparted. horrors.
but on the flipside, with all that retarded creation of cors and bloody ivle, they did redeem themselves with the wonderful invention of... webcast! haha