black flowers bloom
bintan was wonderful. 2 whole perfect days of nothing but bumming around at the beach. sorry if i'm gloating... hehe. you ppl stuck at work are allowed to close your eyes until this para is overrr. smirk. haha ok ok i'll quit it. but its so nice! when i left the hotel on the way to the ferry terminal in bintan i was seriously kinda depressed. it was like leaving paradise.
my holiday was spent pretty much at the beach... i walked all the way into the surf and i saw like real crabs! as in live crabs on the sea bed! they weren't the usual kinda black crabs but like transparent types ya see on the beach... the size of a plate! i bet they are the soft shell crabs we eat at sakae.yum! haha i sound like a really deprived babarian. anyway it was kinda cool... until like i started seeing 3 or 4 around my feet then i started to get freaked out! the beach is so nice and clean and all natural. not like our lovely man made beach in sentosa. sheesh.
i wanted to jet ski but guess what. it was 50 bucks for 15 mins. yes. i see bintan has already been tainted by the tourism industry. speaking of that shopping in bintan is like baaad. but we stil bought stuff :)
town is like a small group of attap huts. damn quaint and cute. on the outside. on the inside the stuff is priced for toursists. and they are not fooled by our bargaining tactics. or my powers of persuation and whining. so we didn't go crazy with a mad shopping spree which was sad. haha
oh and we went for a spa massage! since it was a girls only holiday we figured it was justified to do girly stuff. it was... different. haha. damn ticklish for all those amatuers and you have to act like it isn't. haha. you feel almost as vulnerable as waxing. but like really gumby and bendy afterward. totally relaxed and really lazzyyy. recommended! haha.
anyway on our way back guess what!
me and my sis got stopped at customs! in all my 18 yrs i don't think i have ever gotten stopped. do i look like a suicide bomber?? i figured it was prob cos lately there had been alot of cases where those fools brought in drugs. which brings me to the next point. i look like a druggie???
anyway i was feeling really woozy after the stupid trip and kinda sleepy/groggy so i snapped at the customs officer " please la auntie we don't have guns la". i know! i mean people like her are the reason s'pore is safe with no street urchins peddling cocaine and blah, but i was really tired and cranky! the night before i stayed up to watch... dawn of the DEAADDD!! was damn nice in a morbid sense. anwyay then that morning i had to wake up early to pack cos we had to leave at like 10 in the morning. so as you can tell i was in a great mood la.
ok anywayyyy the best part of the whole adventure was that we stuck like the whole box of chewing gum in renno's bag. i'm not talking about a few loose packets like a whole frickin box. we bought for all the deprived ones in spore. i mean like who targets a small kid when there are other scruffy and very furtive looking people??!? that was our basis which went horribly wrong obviously. so i tried to piss the official off even more and maybe distract her, by making snide remarks like "ren we must really look like al qaeda". eh the woman nagged me ok! she said oh blah blah... routine... safety... dadeedah... prob afraid i'll sue them or smth. grin. ok i admit was a little bitchy but well desp times call for desp measures.
we were damn scared ok! esp bravado sharon chan. she was damn quiet thorughout so i had to fend of the customs myself! and i was damn scared also la! but of course super mum saved the day :)
in the end we still got like 40 bucks worth of gum confiscated. hurrr
ok all the working ones can open their eyes now. hehe. anyway my contract with imh has been extended 3 more weeks... i'm not sure why. i love my job... sometimes. but i tell you some of these mad ppl are really... arrgghh!
singaporeans=no courtesy=when they call, in most likelihood is to resch an appt they already MISSED and not resch a pending appt= angry that no good time slots + unreasonable effects from lack of medicine= huge attitude problem= vent frustrations on the nearest victim= us.
yes. i've already got complains frm those buggers. but another time. i'm sleepyy.
i just realised my last post was damn drama. haha can't really remember writing some of that but am forgiving myself cos was definitely a nervous wreck the day before. haha but thank god its all over
ok my grades weren't like spectacular or anything but i have to say i'm happy with it =).
considering what i expected and what i got in the end, i'm satisfied. and relieved more than anything. seriously. the day before i couldn't sleep even after talking to rachel and baby. so i made up this list of what i wanted to get and what i thought i would get for each sbj, so that when i get my result slip i won't just be stoning there, undecided on whether it was something i considered good or bad. i was being really honest with myself.
it was the most morbid thing ever.seriously the list was reallyt depressing...
safe to say my real results passed the expectations i set for myself =)
esp my gp. i remember i spent the break b/w paper 1 and 2 in the toilet..was a real upset cos i felt i screwed up paper 1 (thanx olivia you're lovely. for always being there for me, this is to you!). after paper 2 was even worse. i was so so sure i screwed up my papers for like the only sbj i wanted to bank on! but turns out it was ok! so ok!
anyway that day i met jolynn and we very agonisingly made our way to school. i didn't wanna go early and collect results with the class cos i would get that suffocating feeling. anyway i couldn't deal with everyone asking me how i did or whatever. (in the end we were SO late ms lim finished handing out the slips alr). so we spent the whole bus ride in silence. i was stoning dunno bout jolynn. now and then obsessing about something.was the fastest frickin bus ride ever. couldn't the bus driver have driven like that when i was late for school.
we walked damn slowly and there was this moment when we just froze in the stairwell. it was like walking the green mile la.
when we finally found the class and i got my results the first thing i did was collapse on ms lim with relief! haha i think she was under the impression it was a hug. haha.
i was so worried the whole day i couldn't eat breakfast or lunch la. so by the time 4.30 came round i was like ravenous. haha yes ravenous was the word. so i stayed with jolynn and we went to kfc and i gorged myself. haha seriously. after that i met baby for dinner and i stuffed myself again. i ate lotsa sushi and 2 double scoops of ice cream!! must've been psycho.
happy- mad- relieved.
anyway wprk so far has been damn eventful. no matter what, i don't ever regret taking this temp job. laugh all you want you cynics! i laugh in the face of adversity har har har! haha ok whatever. you don't get to witness what i do. grin grin.
anyway that day i was having lunch with my friend who works at the reg counter and she told me this guy came in with a knife and said he stabbed someone. ok this was new. interesting! she told me they handed him over to the cisco guards on duty (yes everyday there are at least 3 police officers!) and that was it. after oohing and aahing about it for a while, we forgot all about it. when i went home i read the papers and noticed the article on a stabbing. yes, it did cross my mind but i was like what are the chances right.
the next day i read the papers and it was him! our mystery man. i told my mum and she was so worried la. anyway we were all instructed to keep quiet if any news reporters (esp those from like New Paper. damn kaypo newspaper i tell you) approached us or called our number.
the things that i could see if i were working outside. and where am i when all the drama is happening?? safely enclosed in the call centre inside. so near yet so far. sigh. its incredible the stuff they see everyday.
they told me there was this incident where a patient pulled his pants down! one of the girls got so angry she started shouting that if he didn't pull up his pants she'll call the guards in.
and another time when a patient attacked a doctor and the counter staff had to respond to his crisis call. oh did you know, all the treatment rooms have 2 doors? i found out when the staff nurse orientated me. one for the patient to enter/leave la, and another opening to the adj room... for the doctor to escape if anything happened. how cool is that. the doctors also have crisis buttons on their phone to alert the counter staff like i said earlier.
and once this patient attcked another pateint and bit his hand!!!
after seeing all this you really have to marvel at the staff, esp the staff nurses, on duty. no matter how troublesome a patient is they have to be calm and pacify the patient. no matter how scared they are they have to be firm and tough... there was once this patient was shouting like damn ferociously and wanted to attack a staff nurse. he raised his hand wanting to hit her! i was so scared; we saw from inside. she didn't even flinch! i was amazed. and she solved the problem! seriously, respect. one of my temp friends there wants to take nursing in uni. i say, she doesn't know what she's getting herself into! but good i guess, we need more of such folks.
another thing which struck me. rhada told me that when she sees the patients most of them are working professionals. well groomed, polite, good dressing, coherent, rich... depression-related most prob i would guess... definitely not psychosis or whatever. i would've thought most would be senile old people but no.
it really makes you think, like seriously what do we want from life and if its seriously all worth it to make it to the top but to hate every minute of it.
my reality has caught up. i can't keep running forever.
how i wish time could stand still
i don't want to face the tmr.
hmmm
maybe i should have more confidence but i can't! it seems so...uncertain. i can't believe tmr is here... well coming, in 5 mins.
i still dunno what to expect. please please make it alright.
i guess whatever it is i'll just have to do something with it.
later. now i'm going to try to sleep, in between all my neuroses and paranoid obsessions, worries. and feeling frazzled about how tmr is going to turn out. its the only way to describe how i feel- frazzled.