Monday, September 03, 2007

sometimes i cant help but admire ppl
i was sitting there next to you. you, with your grouses about how tough and tedious the assigments are, yet knowing what you want, and having such passion for it.
i was sitting there across from you. you, always ever so different, your unconventional love, but knowing what your heart desires and willingly rising up to that challenge.
and here i am, still floundering around not sure where i'm headed but not caring much either. sometimes i wish i had a little more direction.
i was sitting there, we're technically the same, but i felt like i was sitting with the most successful ppl in our own little corner of the world*

anyway to all those who still venture here, lisa misses you!! haha :D sorry i had to start such a long absence with such a melancholic post. as you can tell its another quarter life ditch i've hit, and i'm lying floored wallowing in my self pity. seriously when it rains it pours and...*slaps herself. stop lisa chan.
haha okayy anyhow i would blog more but i'm gonna go do my bloody sch work. or at least convince myself i am. yes. this year i've vowed to turn over a new leaf.
before all you cynics go "hey that sounds familiar..." i would like to butt in.
this year i've already already started checking my school email. regularly. *beams :D haha

to all those who've been here for me. you all may not know alot of what it is happening. but what matters to me is you cheering me in your own little ways. however silly and biatchy :)
love.

>talking to you that day, i had the strangest feeling it felt so strained. awkward smiles and artificial banter to mask it-
a feeling worse than anger is hurt. a feeling worse than hurt is disappointment. so you've chosen what mattered more and thats how its gonna be then- i'm not a fighter, i'm just a victim to circumstance. i turned to you, you let me down. i forgive but i dont forget. bitter? guarded. thats what hurting is. cos the worst kind of disappointment is being disappointed with yourself. and i cant afford to trust and let myself down again.

11:47 PM